Finding Your Way – Losing Self
Perhaps you recall that Peter was radically saved on the shores of the sea of Galilee. He was called by Jesus to leave the fishing business to catch people. He courageously followed Jesus and for three years learned a lot as the main leader of the rag tag crew of disciples.
But do you recall this verse found in Luke 22:62? “And Peter left the courtyard crying bitterly,” (Luke 22:62). This honest portrayal of Peter’s heart is a turning point when it comes to finding God’s purpose and path for your life. This story of Peter and his weeping is a bridge linking us into living the will of the Father.
For Peter one of the most impactful lessons learned came during one of his darkest moments. After a night where Jesus told His disciples He was heading to the cross and that they would all forsake Him Peter said, “Never!” Yet, not just once, but as Jesus prophesied three times. Yes, three times in a relatively short time frame, Peter denied knowing and following Jesus. As the rooster screamed out that early morning Jesus’ eyes locked with Peter and penetrated deeply into his soul, exposing his greatest weakness: self.
Like many of us Peter’s life was filled with a lot of self; self will, self determined, self confident, self reliant and selfishness. Self hinders us from hearing and following the voice of our Good Shepherd. Jesus declared earlier that a true disciple is one who will “daily deny yourself take up your cross and follow Me…” (Luke 9:23).
Covid has been the loud rooster crowing to many of us, exposing a life of self and how this is a hinderance to spiritual hearing. Recently I was with a group of leaders talking and praying about our need for revival. It was brought out that it always starts with tears of repentance for trusting self instead of a Sovereign Savior. Peter’s tears were a sign of the self life exposed and his need to daily die to self. Peter’s failure and repentance became the turning point in his life. This should encourage us all that no matter how far we have fallen and denied Jesus in our lives there is hope. As Peter learned to humble himself and daily die to self his heart was emptied for a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. This is where fire from heaven filled him and brought in the Kingdom of Jesus to earth.
I have been so blessed by this prayer written by Andrew Murray, an author and pastor in South Africa in the 1800’s who saw revival fall in many churches. I’ve been praying it daily as I long for self to die in order to hear and follow the Father’s voice. I hope it will be helpful to you as well:
Heavenly Father may your great goodness be known to me. Take from my heart, every kind and form and degree of pride, whether it is in the form of evil spirits or my own corrupt nature. Awaken in me the deepest depth of truth of that humility which can make me worthy of being your servant, a vessel through which you can manifest the riches of your wisdom, power, and goodness. Amen!
As you and I continue to Look at Jesus, Lean In to hear His voice, and Lose Self, we prepare our hearts to be flooded with a transforming Love which will lead us to the Father’s heart.
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